FICTION
Short Stories Published
Oyez Review — The Poetry Brigade
Crab Fat Magazine — Paper Lanterns
Brilliant Flash Fiction — The Kitten
Bourbon Penn Magazine — The Attack of the Forty-Foot Cobra Women
Novels
The Other (currently looking for agent or publisher)
Currently working on a second novel, Hysteria or The Hours in the Alligator Store.
Dear Mr. Goethe,
I am writing to you in the eager hope you can clarify something for me. You said architecture is frozen music. At first this seemed to make sense when I heard it, but then I thought about it some more. What I'm trying to understand is if architecture is music that's frozen — in its solid state — then what is music in its liquid state? Wet concrete? Are those inflatable swimming pools music in its gaseous state? Is that what's meant by the term soft architecture? What about soft machine? And what state is music in before you freeze it and make architecture? And what kind of music were you referring to? I suppose you meant something like a Bach fugue. Smart people who say things like "architecture is frozen music" usually mean something by Bach or one of the other B guys. But what kind of architecture is a frozen Kiss song? What about a Rolling Stones tune? Is a frozen Muddy Waters song a small brick home on the south side of Chicago? And what kind of music did they freeze to make a McDonald's? How about a Jack-In-The-Box?
Do you see why I'm so confused? This is a more complex business than it seemed at first. To tell you the truth, I also don't understand how architects actually freeze the music. I assume they have to pay royalties to the artists just like the dance clubs do when they play a record, but how do they figure out how much to pay? Do the architects buy the records or do they just tape the music off the radio or are they required to hire an orchestra? I think if architects are charging all that money and they're freezing music off the radio, then somebody is getting ripped off.
And does all this stuff about frozen music mean I can play a cassette tape in my freezer and get a new home? If I can maybe I'll try that Talking Heads album, "More Songs About Buildings And Food." That way I can get a house with a kitchen full of food. And don't worry, I'll be happy to send David Byrne some royalty money when I get the house frozen.
So what's the story here Mr. Goethe? Please write me back as soon as you are able and clarify this for me.
Sincerely,
Perplexed